Third Culture
For the past couple of months, I’ve been living in a small town in Italy.
There’s much in the way of “attractions” and there’s not a lot of outsiders.
Most of the people I meet have a very solid Italian identity.
Sometimes I envy them. Not for their Italian-ness, but for their feeling of belonging.
Being in Italy has made me think alot about my own identity, especially since the following conversation happens quite often:
Some new person: “Hey, nice to meet you. Where are you from?”
Me: “Canada”
New person: “Ok, but where are you really from?”
Me: “Well, I grew up in Canada but I was born in Pakistan.”
New person: “Ah, you look Indian.”
Me: “All my grandparents were born in India but because my family is Muslim, when the separation of India and Pakistan happened, they had to move to the Muslim side (Pakistan). That’s where my parents and I were born.”
New person: “So why do you say you’re Canadian”
Me: “I was born in Pakistan but grew up and became “a person” in Canada. My family left Pakistan when I was quite young (9-10) and I haven’t been back for 10 years.”
New person: “Ah okay, so what are you doing here? Do you work in Italy?”
Me: “No, I’m here because I like Italy. I work remotely with various design firms, most of them based out of Texas.”
New person: “Texas! Why Texas?”
Me: “I went to school in Texas and lived there for 7 years.”
This goes on for a while.
Sometimes it’s really amusing, sometimes I just really want to stop being questioned about my lack of belonging.
Because this conversation has been happening quite often, I was recently made aware of the term "third culture"
“Third culture kids (TCK) are people raised in a culture other than their parents' or the culture of the country named on their passport (where they are legally considered native) for a significant part of their early development years. They are often exposed to a greater variety of cultural influences … TCKs move between cultures before they have had the opportunity to fully develop their personal and cultural identity. The first culture of such individuals refers to the culture of the country from which the parents originated, the second culture refers to the culture in which the family currently resides, and although not widely agreed upon by the TCK community, some sources refer to the third culture as the amalgamation of these two cultures … TCKs are particularly adept at building relationships with other cultures while not possessing a cultural identity of their own.”
That’s kinda cool.
Maybe I shouldn’t sometimes envy the Italians and their sense of belonging?
Maybe it’s kind of cool that I don’t have a “home”?
As a Third-Culture kid, I have the power to choose the appealing parts of many ways of living and craft a unique identity outside the parameters of any particular culture.
I don’t belong to any particular place, rather I belong only to myself.